When You're Happy and You Know It

Today, I spent some time reflecting on my life, and thought about which points in my life I was most happy, confident, and productive. What I came up with is this: the chapters of my life that I was most happy, I was also most confident.

I took some time to draw up this nice visual. The results shouldn’t shock anyone, but the line that should stand out is that I perceived myself as productive since high school; however, the data doesn’t tell the whole story. My motivation for that productivity came from different, almost opposite, sources.

While I was in CC and at E*Trade, my productivity, my 🔥, came from a deep hatred of the position I was in. I would have done anything to change where I was. I wasn’t confident in my ability at either place and when I compared myself to my peers, I felt small. As a result, my vision of success became dogmatic. When I was in CC, my vision of success was a big brand university; likewise, when I was at E*Trade, my vision of success was a big brand tech company. When those goals materialized, the happiness I gained from each achievement would not last because it relies so heavily on external factors in both cases.

My happiness was environmental.

What I want is is a graph where my productivity, happiness, and confidence all move together. While I was at UCLA and Lyft Pre-IPO, my motivation and productivity all shot up. In both scenarios, I was productive because I was enjoying the learning process – not because of some deep-seated hatred. I could feel myself growing every quarter, and at Lyft, I could feel my technical growth with every project.

For the next 10 years, maybe this is what I should optimize for in my career. At some point, I’ll get to a terminal position and “stop” learning though. Maybe I’ll learn more by teaching younger engineers? I’m not sure. I still have a lot of growing to do…